Blog: 31 October 2013

Happy Halloween!!! (Wiccan New Year! Blessed Samhain!)

Okay, so today was less productive than yesterday and a whole lot more frustrating. Distraction, disintegration, and disconnect. Those are the key words of how my day went.

It all started with me being completely distracted by an audiobook. I figured I could edit the code for my website and listen to Ender’s Game at the same time but NOOOOOO! I did not expect it to be as thrilling and hooking as it was/is. The problem with audio books is that with audible it’s hard to tell where in the book I’m at, which can be good or bad. But anyway I’m rambling. It’s just dope as fuck. I’m super excited about the series.

My project task for the day was to edit code. But everything I did, one small change here, completely fucked up something somewhere else. It was infuriating!! I had figured “Yes, I know enough about html to find these things I need to edit. No problem. Let’s go.” But it was little things I missed on. Endings to sections and not knowing if this part was a link or something I needed to load manually… I don’t know how coders do it. It’s so much. I tried talking to my boyfriend, who is studying web programming in Uni, and getting tips about things. But he’s kind of just in this programmer bubble and was talking terms and lingo I had no clue about. I’d do things with html but I have no idea what you call ‘this line of code here’ or ‘what this blue section is’. It just made me more confused and subsequently more agitated and I gave up. I changed my template around a few times and realized “ohh…its now 11pm and I’m back at square one." 

The pic below is what it looked like early this morning when I finally figured out how to load the template (thanks to Albin, another Hyper student!):


And this is what it looked like by midday:

Making strides right? I wanted to be finished with all the editing today but that didn’t happen. I feel like yesterday I took three steps forward and now I’m five steps back.

I’ve been thinking a lot about my relationship with my DM pack. My classmates are so dench it’s sick. I adore them honestly and I’ve been trying to figure out why the last few weeks my energy around them has been just so…low. I’m starting to think what it is is from something I’ve done before. When I meet people I’m sooo pumped to meet them and know new things about new people. I get inspired and eager to find something unique about that person. To explore them like I’m a personality-Marco Polo and they are a new land I’m bankin’ on gettin’ into! 
After a time though I find that I start assuming I know enough about them to get a grasp on their personality. I become less interested and that makes me sooo effing sad. It’s stupid. I’m an open person, I don’t judge by the first few encounters, I honestly try to feel a person out and get to know them before I judge them. But once I haven’t found a spark in them, I move on. Maybe I need to work harder at stop assuming I know someone even after we stop being strangers.I don’t know why I’m like that, why I become disinterested but I do. I talked with my program manager about why I move around a lot, about 28 times in my life, and it’s something similar. I get over places quickly. I’m going to work on that. I’m going to genuinely dig into people. Might annoy them but damn it, I’m gunna do it!

Well that’s all I guess. I don’t have the energy to carry on with my project at 1:44 in the morning so I’m going to listen a bit more to the book and hit the hay. Hopefully I get enough done tomorrow to have time to re-dye my hair and go see Thor 2…probably won’t but a gal can hope right??

That is all.